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I haven't gone outside for 4 days. I really want to go to t..
🕑 Added 2024-08-23 16:59:11 +0000 UTC I haven't gone outside for 4 days. I really want to go to the sea. I just want to sit and look at the water and put my hand in the sand. I imagine that I'm sick and lying in bed. When I go outside, I'll definitely go to my favorite coffee shop for a bun and a cappuccino. But definitely not now. Today I tried to draw, nothing came of it. I still continue to meditate and do squats. I don't eat fast food, although I really want to. Right now I'm in such a mood that I don't have the strength to cook. And I'm so sad that it seems that if I eat French fries or a burger, or a slice of pizza, I'll definitely feel better. I take a deep breath and exhale. I tell myself that this is just weakness. I need to pull myself together and with super effort simply make a choice towards a firm "no". I remind myself that my condition is also weakness. It will pass. After all, this has happened many times before. When I lose faith in my own strength, and my inner voice whispers that it is better to give up, I try to remember that difficulties temper the soul, making it stronger. But deep in my heart there is a small flame of hope that leads me forward. Sometimes it seems to me that it will soon go out. What if I fail next time? This path to the light through the darkness of doubts and difficulties is not just a test, it is a transformation that makes us truly free and able to see the light even in the darkest corners of our souls. I don’t know how long I can last. I don’t know if it will work this time. How and when will it all end? This is how I feel, what about you?
