Aaaaaah my heart is racing in the happiest of ways!!
I DID s..
🕑 Added 2024-02-16 02:21:47 +0000 UTC
Aaaaaah my heart is racing in the happiest of ways!!
I DID spend my Valentine's with butterflies in my stomach- fuuuuucking delicious lemon meringue pie by my partner, we had to have it for breakfast, maybe too much coffee, and good nervous butterflies🦋
So you all know me from "back in my day GIFS didn't have sound!" but besides the paper thin walls, I also totally have a huge fear of public speaking😳 so back in the day the idea of performing like someone was there, live, when they weren't VS. just reacting to my reflection, letting my moans/wet noises be recorded w/o overthinking it- so. Totally. DIFFERENT! Filming worked cuz it's me and I have SO much control in the editing process. But that's something you kinda have to let go of to stream Live. While posting did help me see I was becoming more confident, it didn't translate to that heart racing fear of speaking publicly&I had to work on that on its own.
The irony of my fear of public speaking when I share t h i s m u c h online is just too good😂 Being PERCEIVED when you're stretching sideways over the tummy to adjust a light but also in the indecent position of trying not to unthread the super squishy 10" glow-in-the dark purple tentacle making squelching outta your ass is just A LOT to share with someone and I just don't know if they'd speak up to pick the lube-lint precariously close to getting sucked in&distracting from the big ending but I digress...
But today!
TODAY I HAD A FIRST!! It was NSFW in topic but nothing like I've ever shared online before, as you know me! And it was educational🌈🤓
Clothes on, considerate, platonic&professional, I am so honored to have been sought out by such insightful people! An awesome, educational kink podcast team, Alex&Ellie, reached out to me&I just had my first interview AKA my first sharing any side of myself LIVE!
It was so cool&they made me feel so comfortable talking about my lived experience with reddit as a community (especially the power behind inside jokes&language), stigmas, agency&reclaiming thru kink, space to talk about ButtStuff! So positive&how much I talk with my hands didn't seem to be a problem this time, great experience😅- but ooh boy, the social anxiety aftershock just dissipated.
Life is wild, it's a good day. And what a cool first time I never would've expected to have! Thank you so much to Ellie&Alex of “Talking Kink with Alex+Ellie!”
