claracosmia
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Considering how many setbacks I had and what an overall dump..
🕑 Added 2021-01-02 22:35:09 +0000 UTC Considering how many setbacks I had and what an overall dumpster fire year it was I am incredibly proud that I hit my weight goal. I worked so hard after serotonin syndrome just ravaged my body. It was several months of intensive rehab before I could even keep food in me. It took so much but I damn diddly did it! Back in Feb I was 95lbs and I almost died bcs of some medical errors. Serotonin syndrome and then akathisia was one of the most awful things I've ever been thru. And I've seen some shite so that's saying a lot. I couldn't walk, everything ached excruciatingly, my period stopped for four months, I was constantly freezing, my bones jutted out, all rest positions were incredibly painful after just a couple minutes bcs I had no padding, a nerve got pinched in my hips from low muscle mass and caused 5 months of numbness then pain and burning over my hip bone, even tight clothes just fell off me. I just couldn't keep any food in me I was puking and shitting my brains out most of the day for almost 8 weeks. It took me ten months and a few setbacks but I freaking finally did it and put 15lbs back on. When even the slightest wrong move in physio or 1 minute too long of walking can injur/flare/KO me for several days, bcs of hypermobility and joint instability, putting muscle mass back on is incredibly difficult. I literally had to relearn how to walk this year and it took me about four months but I can actually move around my apt without Dora my walker most days now and I'm too grateful for words when I look back to how awful I was earlier this year. Shits still fucked up don't get me wrong but Jesus that was a huge accomplishment for me and I couldn't have done it without a handful of wonderful souls helping me irl and the amazing support of my Cosmians thru all of this, thank you 🥰 PS my brain got used to me being so underweight that now it tries to tell me I'm fat (thanks teenage ED that never really goes away) so I extra need to remind myself how much of a win this is and part of the reason I want to share it w you all 💕 it's extra ironic bcs when I first lost the weight I hated how I looked. I could barely stand to take photos of myself. I'd spent years coming to terms and loving my curves and knowing thiccness is in vogue now didn't help things when I'd look in the mirror and my literal tailbone stuck out further than my pancake butt 😭 it def did a number on my self esteem but (hehe butt) I'm pleased to announce she's made a small but triumphant return. Alpha and omega rise again! PPS I'll PM out the uncensored shortly, ya kno da drill 💋
