I used to live in the upstairs of a duplex - the only house ..
🕑 Added 2025-06-24 05:18:57 +0000 UTC
I used to live in the upstairs of a duplex - the only house in downtown Portland. The previous resident was a crackhead called Wild Cat who had glued plastic sharks all over the walls. I found him dead under the porch on New Year’s Day but that’s not what this story is about. This story is about a man who broke into my apartment. I was home alone - my partner at the time had left for work that morning and I wasn’t expecting company. Being a duplex, there were two doors to enter my apartment - one at the porch and another at the top of a stairwell. We were in the habit of locking the first door, but leaving the second unlocked. This day however, my partner must have forgotten to lock either door. I didn’t hear someone climbing the stairs, but I heard the upstairs door open. I didn’t consider it might be my partner or my downstairs neighbor or my friend Ryan who had spare keys - I knew immediately something was wrong. I walked down the hall towards the front room where the door was open and there he was, a man, average height, medium build, standing in my living room. He was holding a briefcase and wearing a suit. I don’t remember the first words I said but I do remember him saying something about looking for an architecture studio. I told him he was in my house and to fucking leave. He started wandering around the living room, looking closely at the artwork on the walls. I screamed get the fuck out and he turned towards me, smiled, and started taking steps in my direction. I was standing near a bookcase that had a thin drawer and inside the drawer, there was a hammer. I opened the drawer, pulled out the hammer, and swung it through the air in his direction. He stopped and asked me why I was acting this way. I don’t know what I said, I just remember lunging at him, swinging my hammer. I wasn’t frightened, I was focused and floating. It felt divine to swing at him, divine to chase him down the stairwell. I never even patched the holes I made in the walls.
